comments

NATES
The best part of the stroy was the quiet part of the story. i enjoyed this part of the story the most because i believe that you used a lot of good descriptions and you really brought the moment to life. "Eventually we arrived at the true destination, Bash Bish Waterfall. Siddhartha was amazed at the peacefulness of the setting. The Waterfall was not even a mile inland from the busy street we had once been on. After a bit of quiet meditation Siddhartha spoke."
You could have done a little bit better during the indulgent part of the story. it was overall very good but you didnt describe the casino as well as you described the waterfall. to improve this part i beleive that you could put in some more details about the casino itself and what the atmoshoere, sounds, smells...are like. One of the textual refrences in this story comes early in the beginning when they discuss water and how it bares no sense of time. It fit in and it flowed very well with the story.
The first sentences of the story do grab my atention and i beleve that it is a very effective introduction. i also feel the same way about the conclusion. i do beleve that the story anded rather abruptly though, and maybe instead you could gradually work the reader to that point.

CASEY
The best part of the story was the stimulating part of the story. i believe that this is the best part of the story because you do a really good job with describing las vegas. when you are describing this scene i can imagine in my mind how crazy las vegas is. "

We both woke up extra early to head out for our flight to the Sin City where I would show Siddhartha how Americans have a good time. After we caught our flight and landed, we jumped in our limo that I ordered to take us to Caesars Palace, where we would be staying in one of their pent houses. As we drove by all the bright buildings, Siddhartha’s eyes were popping out of his head. He could not believe what he was seeing. All of the giant buildings, all  the people walking around, all the traffic, and all the entertainment. After stopping by our luxurious room, we decided to hit the tables and try out our luck at gambling. Being the nice guy I am, I gave Siddhartha $1000 to us as starting money. After losing half of it, he actually started getting the hang of the whole betting thing. After winning his money back, he was not done there. Siddhartha ended up tripling his money and decided to call it quits. With the extra money, we bought dinner and saw a show. Then we hit the night life. We entered a club which was crazy. There were people everywhere, there was a dance floor, a DJ, crazy lights, strippers, and bars. Siddhartha was totally out of his element. So instead of joining me on the dance floor, he decided to take a seat near a stripper, where unlike most men there struck up a conversation with the girl. After a while I became nervous and got him away from here as fast as I could. Siddhartha was upset with me."

You could have done a better jod in desciing the quiet and poeaceful part of the story. i fell like this part was kind of left out. The textual reference in this story comes when they are discussing the river and they talk about the ferryman like in the actual novel.

I enjoy the introduction to the story and i think that it is entertaining to read. i think thet you could have made it a little bit better though by maybe making it grab the readres attention more.

The conclusion was done very well and it satisfied the story.